There have been so many ups and downs and loops in the last few years of my family's lives that if it were a roller coaster it would be a XXX too scary of an extreme ride to even ride. The jerks and shakes from it left me tired, worn out and even bruised like a piece of fruit. Every time I think we are coming around the last sharp corner to the end of the ride anothe humongous drop dips me till I feel as if my stomach hits the floor.
Even if it's something that didn't actually happen in the last year in a half and you just become aware of it now. Even if it's not something that necisarily happened to you, and more on lines of just involving you. Say it was just how someone felt about you and you family or business and was too scarred to speak up then, feelings they held in for years and now are left with bitter hatred and too scarred to confront me. It's easier for them to hide out and complain behind my back about how horrible I took advantage and used them. They have put So much anger into holding on to resentment rather than discussing and letting free their feelings to start to heal.
And then you get others that make huge life changing mistakes and you get the blame. You try to warn them, but being an adult and someone the same age or older it's hard. Their ears are closed to listening to advise and eyes blind to all signs, and then as it all ends in disaster( just as predicted)you are there to pick up pieces.
And then it all comes right back down to my health..... My sickness..... My illness.....my I don't even know what to call it other than the"thing" that I've lost a HUGE portion of family members and friends over because of it. With ever sharp corner equals a change and with every change equaling a dip that leads to a climbing hill. I ALONE in my damaged sick body have to climb these hills alone. Because of this you may think I don't care of others anymore, it's not that, it's just that I used to (before sick) care WAY too much, so now I have energy to give only to a few (and those are the ones I choose)close members of my family's circle. We've now chosen our family, I do not have strength to deal with bitterness, I believe in getting it out and moving on. Let it go, forgive and free you body some space for love and undo hatred!